


praying (for god to save us) mantises

by Screaminglouder



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: Bugs, Comrades, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fanny Packs, Fighting, Forgotten Gods, Gay, God - Freeform, LMAO, M/M, Memes, Praying Mantises, Punching, brief mention of guns, joke, no smut???? A crack fic??? are we sure im writing this, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 18:00:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16645109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Screaminglouder/pseuds/Screaminglouder
Summary: Praying Mantises will come for you.





	praying (for god to save us) mantises

“Annie you are being stupid and immature. Just listen for once!”

“And why should I?”

“Goddamnit, I could punch you right now. Could you-“

“Punch me. I fucking dare you. See what happens.” The fire in his eyes grew.

Dolokhov gathered all of his courage up in his tiny, gay body and socked Anatole in the fucking face.

Anatole smiled and raised his arms to the sky and laughed as he turned... green?  
His limbs elongated, his head became more triangular, his smile twisted.

“You, a pint sized mortal, dare challenge me, Annie, a PRAYING MANTIS GOD?”

Dolokhov faced down his opponent, still shook about the fact that his enemy was actually a god.  
He took out a gun, but before he could, the giant matis cackled.

“That foolish gun has no effect on me! I’m a G O D dumbass!”

Ok then. Plan B.

With the help of Balaga’s fanny pack that was lent to him, he broke off a piece of the God’s leg, and stabbed him with it.

“WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!” Anatole screeched as he shriveled to dust.

Well, that’s one way to settle an argument.


End file.
